By Jessica Kerendian
Creator, The Sunday Stories
I know we’re dealing with a lot right now. Between a global health crisis, an economy on the verge of collapse, and everyone stockpiling toilet paper like the world is ending— shit is getting crazy. And to make matters worse, many cities have mandated their residents to self-quarantine. I know that all sounds like a really cool synopsis for a new episode of Black Mirror, but this is our reality. Now in the few days we’ve spent in self-quarantine, many are starting to face the realities of solitude. And if you’re not in a relationship, you are also facing the realities being single in solitude. I know in times of struggle, the easy thing to do is to fall back into your comfort zone and search for connection in what is familiar. So by now, the thought of “I wonder what my ex is up to in quarantine…” has crossed your mind. And if you’re really teetering on the edge, you’ve even thought of texting them. Thankfully for you and your dignity, we’ve written up the three reasons why you shouldn’t. So let’s start convincing you.
Reason 1: Nothing’s changed.
We’re facing a pandemic. What that means is our world and day to day life is changing. People are getting sick, businesses are closing, and we’re adopting social distancing. Your ex, however, is the one thing that hasn’t changed. They are still the same person they were a week ago. Coronavirus didn’t magically cure their past traumas, emotional baggage, or commitment issues. The only thing this pandemic has done for your ex is make them more hygienic. So no, you will not find a different person on the other side of the phone. I promise you any response you get will be a result of mutual loneliness and/or boredom.
Reason 2: You’re worth more.
If these circumstances have taught us anything, it is that life and human connection are precious. We value the time spent with our friends, our families, and our loved ones at a premium during times like these. You’re ex, unfortunately, forfeited that time and opportunity. I don’t doubt that you are the type of person worth being stuck in the house with for two weeks. Hell, I’m sure you’d be just as fun on a deserted island with no communication from the outside world as well. But it shouldn’t take a global health crisis to make your ex finally see your worth. You and I both know you’re fucking amazing. And the basic bitch in me wants to do everything to remind you that “if they don’t love you at you're worst, they don’t deserve you at you’re best.” But in all seriousness, you know your value has always been in your control. Now is your time to prove it. Don’t text out of feeling less than. No message, no witty response, and no string of charming sentences from an ex will ever give you long term satisfaction. So why is it worth it? In a world where hand sanitizer and toilet paper are being valued at a premium, are you really going to be less?
Reason 3: Make yourself whole.
Let me start by saying that Diane Von Furstenberg is the most underrated icon of our generation. Although she is most notably known for creating a fashion empire, she is also the queen of inspirational one-liners. Her most repeated line and probably the best piece of advice you will ever receive in your whole life was, “The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.” I am willing to bet that the ex you're thinking of texting right now made you lose sight of that very ideology pretty frequently in your relationship. Now is your chance to start finding ways to make yourself whole again. The great thing about solitude is it gets you to learn about yourself in ways you never thought were possible. How do I like my coffee in the morning? What do I want to do with my free time? What do I like to wear when I know nobody is watching? What are the topics I am passionate about discussing? Consider this your two-week Bootcamp to self-discovery.
If I haven’t convinced you by now to stop writing that text to your ex, please seek help from a medical professional. They are reporting that memory loss and clouded judgment are both symptoms of COVID-19.